Sometimes two different schools will allow you the same total page length, but in different configurations. One of the most standard is that some schools allow a four-page personal statement and no other documents, while others allow you two pages for your personal statement and two pages for a diversity statement. Here's an example of telling the same story two different ways.
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Tiger Woods created a commotion when he identified himself as "Cablasian." I was born into a mixed family much like Tiger's. My mother's father was Chinese-American, orphaned by his birth-family and raised in the South. My mother's mother was African-American and, following the family legacy, she received a degree from Fisk University in Nashville, TN. My relatives were instrumental in the foundation of the Avery Normal Institute in Charleston, SC, an educational institute for African-Americans founded in 1865 (now associated with the College of Charleston). My mother grew up in a segregated society where choices were rarely available. She received her Master's degree in Library Science from HBC University. My father's family is of German/Scottish/Irish/Danish decent. When faced with racial classification forms, I often check every box that is representative of my family history and the home in which I was raised - Black/African-American, Asian-American and Caucasian.
I was raised in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, DC. Silver Spring was a diverse community; our neighbors were Yugoslavian, Korean, Italian, and included many others. There were many ethnic-specific markets and restaurants near our house where we tried many different foods. Our community pool was located in a conservative orthodox Jewish section of Silver Spring. Outside of swim season, our family was included in many Passover seders, sukkoh parties and Bar/Bat Mitzvah's through relationships developed on our swim team.
When I made the decision to attend the University of Virginia, I had no idea how much the school was going to help shape my life. My SAT and grades in high school were not as strong as the others' in my dorm and I thought I was a fluke acceptance to UVA. Initially, I was overwhelmed with the size of UVA and intimidated by the students. When I attended first-year orientation, I was searching for a club that would replicate some of the qualities of my experience with the rescue squad, such as strong team commitment, perseverance and personal camaraderie within the organization. Rowing easily fulfilled the qualifications of commitment and dedication that I was looking for. Unlike many other college teams, rowing is a 3-season sport: Fall is distance racing season, Winter is full-time, indoor training and finally Spring, the most competitive season of short distance, 2000 meter sprint races. Our team had to be on the water by 5:30 AM, six days per week. Organizing the oars, carrying the boat, loading the boat into the water - we completed every task under the steady count and direction of the [name deleted]swain. The thoroughness translated to actual practice regimens and race methods, and ultimately into my study habits. I learned to balance my studio time with crew practices and an aggressive race schedule.
In every major architecture school around the country, the "cult" approach for success says that you must work in studio every night and ALL night. When I would drive by studio on the way to practice, I would frequently see students leaving studio, in time to nap, shower and return to do the same thing. I generally finished crew practice by 8:30am and arrived at studio immediately afterwards. Each morning, I worked on drawings and models until class started around 1pm.
In the Fall of my second year, I learned that the State of Maryland was offering tuition reimbursements for Maryland residents pursuing degrees not offered in the Maryland education system through a program called the Academic Common Market. Architectural History was included in the tuition reimbursement program. I decided to expand my interest in Architecture by acquiring a double major in Architecture and Architectural History and at Christmas 1996, I surprised my parents with the discounted tuition bill. I continued my studies in architecture and history and excelled with Virginia rowing. The Lightweight boat was a tight-knit group of highly successful women, physically and academically, and we secured our national ranking as the 2nd fastest lightweight boat in the country. In my third year, I finally realized that I would have to narrow my focus in architecture and rowing in order to succeed at UVA. Originally, my double major in architectural history was supposed to supplement my studio degree, but with the tuition benefits of the history major and our team successes, I decided to major in Architectural History alone so that I could continue rowing.
As an architecture student at UVA, I was a member of the Black-Architectural Students Association (BASA) and assisted UVA Professor [name deleted] with his work to reconstruct Bayview, an impoverished community on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. Few understand how the Bayview community could exist in poverty for so long. Originally, the houses were constructed of deteriorated framing and roofing shingles and didn't have any indoor plumbing or waste water management. Residents had little or no electricity and shared outdoor pit privies for toilets. In addition to documenting the original houses, roads and structures, I was involved with the neighborhood town-hall-style meetings where residents discussed land use and development goals as well as design objectives for the community. Through the implementation of his democratic design process, Professor [name deleted] and the Bayview Citizens for Social Justice have been successful in adapting urban planning into a legitimate tool for social change.
In the summer after my 3rd year at UVA I began working for National Construction. Skeptical of my Architectural History background, National intentionally placed me in a male-dominated, technical division as a survival test. Much to their surprise, I enjoyed construction project management at National Concrete Contractors and received strong and promising reviews from upper management within the company. I was offered a job at the end of that summer contingent on graduating in the spring of 1999. I realized that I would have to complete 18 credits in my final semester at UVA to fulfill that condition. I forfeited my position on the crew team in order to complete my goal of graduating on time. My gpa of 3.28 for that semester is an indication of how much time rowing required. (Calculus was the only class that defeated me; when I failed it twice, my academic advisor accepted a substitute for the requirement.)
My job at National Concrete was supposed to be an assignment where the project managers specifically said, "we don't want a girl in our department." I hadn't believed that this would have effected my perception of working in the industry, but surprised myself when I realized that it truly has been an issue for me. There has been one woman at National who I consider my mentor, [name deleted]. Ironically, the majority of this business is conflict resolution, typically, a strong-point for women. [name deleted]is a good example of this: her matter-of-fact and straightforward approach somehow evades the boasting and storytelling, thus forcing more of the truth out of our subcontractors and preventing an argument from spiraling out of control. Her demeanor encourages subs to negotiate the situation rather than tirelessly argue a point. During difficult project meetings or stressful situations at work, having [name deleted] as a mentor has encouraged me to push through difficult situations at work.
My experiences in commercial construction management have led me to believe that a law degree will teach me the logical and analytical tools to be a better construction manager. I had assumed that I would return to pursue graduate studies in architecture. Instead, I learned first-hand that the most successful and respected leaders in the building and construction industry are educated in law or business and on-the-job construction experience. While an architectural education is, by design, theoretical and philosophical, I had to force myself to rethink the assumptions in architecture where success is based on theory, when actually construction is a combination of practice, clarity and strategy.
I have really tried to invigorate my life with a multitude of experiences. I wanted to work in construction to understand how to design a stronger, better building. I wanted to become an EMT/firefighter to understand health, the human body and to appreciate life. Ultimately, I want to understand the practice of law to be a stronger, more intelligent construction manager. I want to go to law school to build better buildings and better communities.
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Note that this applicant compares herself to Tiger Woods, and like him, often faces racial challenges. Because of that, our first job was to establish her connection to the African American community by showing that her mother and grandfather are associated with historically Black schools, as well as by later mentioning her membership in the Black Architects' group. We immediately went on th show that, while she was aware of and comfortable with her African American heritage, she was not raised in a ghetto or disadvantaged environment -- i.e., that she's not trying to capitalize on her race by allowing people to make incorrect assumptions.
Our next task was to explain her lackluster grades. We showed that she was enrolled in a time-consuming major as well as an aggressive varsity sport, and then added a second major in order to reduce her tuition. When she was unable to accomplish all three she dropped the first major, then was forced to drop rowing in her senior year. We also mention two Fs in calculus to explain the low gpa.
Finally we discuss her astonishing success in an otherwise all-male environment, her desire to continue in her chosen career path, and her belief that a law degree will facilitate her professional growth. Note that we mention her background as an EMT without ever discussing it. This is what I call "a resume item." We can list dates and duties, but it is not central to the story we're telling, so we don't wasted much space on it. There's another story we could have told in which it would have been central -- the one in which she met her husband on the EMT crew. Had that been the focus of the essay, there would be much more detail about EMT, and rowing would have been reduced to a bulleted list of dates and accomplishments.
The next school she applied to allowed two pages for her personal statement and two pages for her diversity statement. Here's what we did:
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Tiger Woods created a commotion when he identified himself as "Cablasian." I remember reading extensive criticism from both Blacks and Whites similar to, 'How can somebody so Black-looking be so in denial about his Blackness?' Which led me to question how does "Cablasian" deny blackness? I was born into a mixed family much like Tiger's. My mother's father was Chinese-American, orphaned by his birth-family and raised in the South. My mother's mother was African-American and, following the family legacy, she received a degree from Fisk University in Nashville, TN. My relatives were instrumental in the foundation of the Avery Normal Institute in Charleston, SC, an educational institute for African-Americans founded in 1865 (now associated with the College of Charleston). My mother grew up in a segregated society where choices were rarely available. She received her Master's degree in Library Science from HBC University. My father's family is of German/Scottish/Irish/Danish decent. When faced with racial classification forms, I often check every box that is representative of my family history and the home in which I was raised - Black/African-American, Asian-American and Caucasian. Selecting only one box would be denying my family's ethnic mix.
Often I have wished I had more predominantly "ethnic" physical characteristics such as darker skin or traditional Chinese folds in my eyelids, easily definable physical characteristics instead of my mixed features. In high school I traveled to Israel where many people would immediately speak to me in Hebrew assuming that I was Israeli. When I was living abroad in Finland, many Finns would assume I was Sami (Eskimo) and without hesitation, speak to me in Finnish. And traveling in South Korea, people would come up to me asking about my Asian heritage saying "You are Asian. Who is Asian in your family?" I was surprised to learn that it isn't only an American desire to classify ethnic identity, but a universal desire to categorize people by their race or ethnic background. I have been raised in a very happy family, a household complete with a mother, father and one sister, Rebecca. Our ethnic identity is best identified as an American melting pot.
I am always fascinated to meet people who are primarily one culture; for example, my husband's family is Irish, a marriage between an O'Sullivan and an O'Connor. Every summer the O'Connors return to Ireland to visit family. Ironically, since acquiring my husband's last name, people assume and accept without hesitation that I'm Irish. I have curly hair like a "good Irish girl" or often hear, "Susannah O'Connor sounds like a "good Irish name." Judging by my married name alone, I have been shuffled into the Irish-American-Caucasian check-box.
I was raised in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, DC. Silver Spring was a diverse community, our neighbors were Yugoslavian, Korean, Italian, and included many others. There were many ethnic-specific markets and restaurants near our house where we tried many different foods. Our community pool was located in a conservative orthodox Jewish section of Silver Spring. Outside of swim season, our family was included in many Passover seders, sukkoh parties and Bar/Bat Mitzvah's through relationships developed on our swim team. I felt comfortable in our culturally dynamic neighborhood and felt fewer pressures to be classified into a specific ethnic category.
When I was in middle school my father inherited his parent's house and our family made an uncomfortable transition to Chevy Chase, Md. In contrast to the Silver Spring community, Chevy Chase is a White, upper-class, wealthy suburb of Washington, DC. Many of our neighbors belonged to one of the three local country clubs that, until just a few years ago, did not admit minorities. Other than neighborly requests for babysitting duties, our family has rarely been invited to or included in community events within our neighborhood. Luckily, my parents have actively welcomed and encouraged our extended family to celebrate many holidays together in Chevy Chase, regardless of the homogeneity of the community. My parents have included friends and family with a variety of personalities, ethnicities and cultural associations into my life which has only enhanced my diverse upbringing.
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When I made the decision to attend the University of Virginia, I had no idea how much the school was going to help shape my life. UVA rowing taught me more about how to persevere and succeed in academics than any high school education class, and my choice of architecture as a major has led to a successful and fulfilling career in the construction industry.
Initially, I was overwhelmed with the size of UVA and intimidated by the students while simultaneously trying to determine an academic focus or direction. My SAT and grades in high school were not as strong as the others' in my dorm and I thought I was a fluke acceptance to UVA. When I attended first-year orientation, I was searching for a club that would replicate some of the qualities of my experience with the rescue squad, such as strong team commitment, perseverance and personal camaraderie within the organization. Rowing easily fulfilled the qualifications of commitment and dedication that I was looking for. Unlike many other college teams, rowing is a 3-season sport: Fall is distance racing season, Winter is full-time, indoor training and finally Spring, the most competitive season of short distance, 2000 meter sprint races. Our team had to be on the water by 5:30 AM, six days per week. Organizing the oars, carrying the boat, loading the boat into the water - we completed every task under the steady count and direction of the [name deleted]swain. The thoroughness translated to actual practice regimens and race methods, and ultimately into my study habits. I learned to balance my studio time with crew practices and an aggressive race schedule. (Calculus was the only class that defeated me; when I failed it twice, my academic advisor accepted a substitute for the requirement.)
As an architecture student at UVA, I was a member of the Black-Architectural Students Association (BASA) and assisted UVA Professor [name deleted] with his work to reconstruct Bayview, an impoverished community on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. Originally, the houses were constructed of deteriorated framing and roofing shingles and didn't have any indoor plumbing or waste water management. Residents had little or no electricity and shared outdoor pit privies for toilets. In addition to documenting the original houses, roads and structures, I was involved with the neighborhood town-hall-style meetings where residents discussed land use and development goals as well as design objectives for the community. Through the implementation of his democratic design process, Professor [name deleted] and the Bayview Citizens for Social Justice have been successful in adapting urban planning into a legitimate tool for social change.
In the summer after my 3rd year at UVA I began working for National Construction. Skeptical of my Architectural History background, National intentionally placed me in a male-dominated, technical division as a survival test. Much to their surprise, I enjoyed construction project management and received strong and promising reviews from upper management within the company. I was offered a job at the end of that summer contingent on graduating in the spring of 1999. I realized that I would have to complete 18 credits in my final semester at UVA to graduate in four years. I forfeited my position on the crew team in order to complete my goal of graduating on time. My gpa of 3.28 for that semester is an indication of how much time rowing required.
My experiences in commercial construction management have led me to believe that a law degree will teach me the logical and analytical tools to be a better construction manager. I had assumed that I would return to pursue graduate studies in architecture. Instead, I learned first-hand that the most successful and respected leaders in the building and construction industry are educated in law or business and on-the-job construction experience. While an architectural education is, by design, theoretical and philosophical, I had to force myself to rethink the assumptions in architecture where success is based on theory, when actually construction is a combination of practice, clarity and strategy.
I have really tried to invigorate my life with a multitude of experiences. I wanted to work in construction to understand how to design a stronger, better building. I wanted to become an EMT/firefighter to understand health, the human body and to appreciate life. Ultimately, I want to understand the practice of law to be a stronger, more intelligent construction manager. I want to go to law school to build better buildings and better communities.
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In order to divide her essay into two, we had to focus more explicitly on her multiracial background and the role it plays in her life. A diversity statement must, after all, focus on diversity. Somehow, we managed to fit everything else that was necessary into her two page diversity statement. We dropped the paragraph about Maryland tuition and the one about the challenges (not to say "discrimination") faced by women in the construction industry.
If there's anything these essays should show you. it's how much work goes into crafting a good set of essays. The purpose must be kept firmly in mind, no matter how much juggling or cutting is needed.