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Bad Personal Statements

Most students have no idea what is interesting or unusual about their lives. They see themselves as a part of their environment, and don't realize that it is the environment itself that makes them different. That's why it is essential to get outside help on your personal statement: you need someone to look at your life experiences objectively.

Family members and close friends are not good choices for this task. They often come from the same background that you do, and make the same assumptions. And I can't tell you what to write about, because I don't know you; but I can tell you what NOT to write about.

Good essays work for a reason.  They show who you are, explain weaknesses in your file, and tell a good story.  Great essays do all three. The admissions officer who reads your essays should not just feel informed; she should feel entertained.  

No one can tell you what should be in your essays without knowing your entire personal and family history. However, there's general agreement on what law schools don't want.

The commonest bad personal statements are:

The expanded resume: “I did this, then I did that; afterwards I joined X, formed Y, and won award Z.”
 
 
Why this is bad: all of that stuff is on your app and your resume. Your personal statement contributes zero to your file.

Bad Advice: Several students have mentioned hiring one of our competitors for essay advice.  They were told to write an expanded resume.  I  said it was bad advice, and made a different recommendation.   So what's an applicant to do? One of them went  with us to a Law Forum; we  imposed on two different admissions officers to look it over.  They both agreed with me -- bad.  So I don't care what you-know-who at you-know-where says.  An expanded resume is not a personal statement.

 
My Most Unforgettable Character: “Mary is homeless. She carries her possessions in two shopping bags, which she never lets out of her sight. She wasn’t always homeless. Once she had a husband, three children, and a suburban home. What happened? .... And that’s why I want to work with the homeless.”

Why this is bad: This is often a really interesting statement -- about Mary. If the school is looking primarily for a writing sample, this will do; if it wants to learn more about the applicant, it won’t.

What I did on my summer vacation. Whether you went backpacking through Europe or worked as a Congressional page, this essay tries to make a single event into an essay.
Why this is bad: If it tells what you did without discussing why it was important, it will be no better than an expanded resume. This essay can work if you turn it into a Major Event essay (see below).
Why I want to be a lawyer.  Any explanation of why you want to study law is a bad topic, unless you have a very specific goal already connected to your experience.

Why this is bad: This is a terrible essay for anyone who wants to say ”I love to argue,” “Law will give me a lot of options,” or “I want to get rich.” All of these may be true, but you can surely find a better way to present yourself. It is not generally a good essay for a young person with little practical experience in a field. This essay can be very successful for a person who already has a career track and wants to advance by using legal skills. It can also work for a person leaving a field to work on legal issues related to that field, such as a nurse who wants to work in hospital administration or malpractice litigation, a forest ranger who wants to work for environmental legislation.

So why are all those “great personal statement” books filled with essays like these? Because people make the mistake of thinking that if a person got accepted to a top school, their personal statement must have been good. Even at top schools, people get accepted with mediocre personal statements; their biographical info and recommendations make an adequate argument for them. But personal statements like these won’t get you into your reach schools.

What makes a good personal statement? Here are some starting points:

  • Your proudest personal achievement.  Look for something that doesn’t show on your resume or transcript -- learning to swim, saving money for a long-range goal, making a bookcase, painting a picture. Explain why it was important to you: why was it a goal, why had you failed to do it before (or failed to try), what was different that enabled you to accomplish it now, and what you learned about the world or yourself from having accomplished it.
  • A major event in your life, either good or bad.  This could be a trip, a family illness, a move to a new city. Explain what life had been like before the event, how the event changed you, and what you learned from it.
  • A changed belief.  Explain where the old belief had come from -- family, peers, life experiences. Tell what made you rethink the belief, and what you believe now. Explain why the new belief is important to you.

These topics will show something about you that’s not already in your file, and will give the reader something to relate to and to like about you. This kind of personal statement can significantly increase your chances at your “reasonable reach” schools -- the ones where you’re just a few points below the medians.

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